“The More, The Better Theory” Was Right!

#5   03/28/12 (03:03-05:15)

                Now that I think about it, there hasn’t been a time when I met with Boo for more than two weeks in a row (wow..).  If I knew that coming to the PLC regularly could make this much of a difference earlier, I would have definitely come in regularly.   The relationship between Boo and I has gotten a lot softer and more at ease.   Well, there are a lot of reasons that have possibly contributed to this outcome.  One reason is that I have met with her a few times now; I laid down my pride and ego and admitted my lack of ability and knowledge; I started coming in to tutor with the mind of a student or a co-student.  

 Interestingly, she started to accept my lack of ability as I accepted it myself.  Also, we would laugh together about it.   Since today, I think Boo definitely considers me a friend, rather than a tutor.  The pros for this situation are that I, myself, feel more confident coming to the PLC and that Boo and I both are able to work together on the quizzes and tests at more ease.   However, the cons are that it became more difficult for me to execute authoritative influence on her because I am perceived as a friend to her.  I’m not trying to be an authoritative figure in her eyes; however, I still want to have some kind of an authoritative influence on her so that it’s not weird for me to tell her not to talk about marijuana in front of me or to read the whole reading text before taking quizzes, etc.   Since we became more like “friends,” it became hard for me to give disciplinary words to Boo.  

Despite the cons that are now created, today’s tutoring session was satisfactory for me because, at least, I didn’t feel embarrassed or inferior today.  I was confident to have lack of ability because no one is perfect.  There are times when even the teachers are confused with what they teach.  I don’t have to feel stupid for not knowing some things asked by Boo because I know I would be so much better if I have the text read before the tutoring session or if I were the teacher having prepared for those texts  for years.   I think our relationship improved as my self-esteem improved.   No one is perfect; learning can be never perfect or complete.  

Oh, we read together some of the texts she was responsible to read for the quizzes and tests, taking turns, and it felt really good for some reason.  I don’t know about Boo (she probably didn’t feel the same as I did), but I felt the connection between us two as we were taking turns to read the text.   Maybe I’m weird.  Anyway, I think this is enough for today. :D

-Jin Kim, 10:00pm 03/28/12