“I’m a Horrible Tutor"

#1 First day with Boo: Jan. 24^th.2012 (3:15-5:15)

                I was nervous about everything about this service learning.  I was nervous about how to get to the place because I was taking the bus to get there; I was nervous about meeting a stranger and having to tutor the person; I was nervous about teaching or tutoring Language Arts.  I was SO nervous about everything honestly.  Despite all those things that I expected negatively, I arrived at the PLC safely and easily, and I was introduced to a girl named Gariuan in Ms. Scredan’s class.  I was too nervous at the moment to take some time and introduce myself fully.  We introduced ourselves VERY briefly and started working on her LIT10 right away.  I didn’t think that was weird or slightly rude at the moment, but now that I reflect upon it, it WAS strange. 

                She was reading Aneid today.  Well, she was almost done reading it when I sat down with her.  I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to be doing, so I just waited for her to finish reading the poem.  Having finished reading it, she started working on the test online.  At first, she turned around and asked Ms. Scredan whenever she needed help with either comprehending test questions or solving them.  It’s selfish to think this way, but I felt both awkward and ignored at first because she was not asking me for help.   So, the next time she seemed to be struggling with the test, I stepped up before she turned to the teacher.  Then, she started to ask me instead of asking the teacher.  I guess she felt too awkward to ask me at first.   We worked on several quizzes and tests today, and we got some of the questions that I helped her with wrong.  Whenever the tests/quizzes were graded and we found out that what I helped her with was wrong, she looked at me with a smirk on her face and started asking Ms. Scredan again.   Sitting there in that room for two hours was very uncomfortable, and I didn’t feel anything but sorry for Boo (Oh, she wanted to call her Boo instead of Gariuan). I was ready to end this tutoring hour and go home at any minute.  I just talked to my neighbor about my first day at the PLC because I had told her about this before starting this.   And, the first thing that came out of my mouth was “I’m a horrible tutor,” and “I felt bad for the girl I’m tutoring.”  Gariuan was not the type of student that we had talked about prior to beginning our service learning at the PLC—“the trouble maker” who shows attitude to “authority figures” and doesn’t care about school or learning.  She is, or seems to me at least, a very hard-working and studious student who cares about school and actually wants to get a highs school diploma.   The only problem was myself.  Everything was fine except for me—my knowledge, my tutoring skills, my social skills, and everything.    To summarize my feelings right now, it’s frustration + embarrassment + sorry. :’(((((((

-          9:30pm 01/24/12